everything is wrong with niggas with ankhs, bow ties or bean pies

everything is wrong with black men who reinforce patriarchal norms in order to solidify their power and dominance over black women

everything is wrong with the culture and tactics of slut shaming and physical/emotional/spiritual violence they use to maintain status quo

everything is wrong with the way they center men in black history with no regard to the contributions, struggles, and intersectional oppressions of black women (except to put them on a pedestal with inherent slut shaming behind it), queer bodies, trans* and non-binary bodies, or bodies and identities that basically don’t live to serve them 24/7

everything is wrong with niggas with ankhs 

i could write several books on niggas with ankhs

they wouldn’t be best sellers, but they would be the truth

i want more books on black punk as a music scene and political philosophy

more books on queer brown decolonial/in the continual process of decolonizing anarchist praxis

i kept thinking about this as me and wacklikethat trolled through foodforthought book collective. i was looking for something to read. something that sat in the middle of being really heavy but also being enjoyable. and as i went over to the social change section, i just got really frustrated. 

its like, i’m so sick of white people being the face of radicalism. being the writers and thinkers and leaders who are taken seriously first. and people of color having to bang on the door and remind them “hey we do exist, you need to include us too”

and if its not white people, its always cis heterosexual men within POC movements, specifically blackamerican radical movements.

the way the black community wont let go of this notion that leadership has to unequivocally be a cis hetero black man is almost enough to make me ill at times (or sometimes the voice of reason must be a cis gay man *cough cough son of balwin cult of personality syndrome*)

no correction, it does make me ill

the erasure of women’s bodies, queer bodies, trans* and gender non-conforming bodies from the histories of struggle makes me sick

because once again i’m banging down the door asking to be included

saying “oh please won’t you remember my queer womyn’s ass! for just one second if at all”

fuck it!

i’m not asking you to include me anymore.

in the time i have left on earth i will write my own praxis

i will build coalitions with people who understand that fuck patriarchy/fuck racism/fuck cissexism is more than just a slogan that looks good on patches and tumblr gifs

i’m not begging for crumbs or for change anymore

and when white folks and the patriarchal supremacy of black liberation as it sits today looks in and says “oooo i want in”

i’ll just be like “naw naw son. you weren’t even ready to let me in as an equal player to the struggle. you damn sure aint ready to play by my rules”

If there is one thing i’ve noticed in my short time on FetLife, its the nasty habit of sweeping critical conversations about the intersections of oppression, kink and accountability under the rug in lieu of saying “well we all like problematic things and so therefore we don’t really need to talk about this at all. lets just have fun okay?!!” 

at first it frustrates me to see this, especially in dead or dying groups which are supposed to be safe spaces for people of color.

but then i have to stop, breathe a couple of times, and remember something really important.

people love to talk about how they busted a good nut or orgasmed to MARS. but nobody wants to about how avoiding critical conversations makes alternative sex culture unsafe and subsuquently not a real alternative or save heaven for a lot of us. 

I get it, when it comes to BDSM people don’t want to be critical about their kinks. or anything related to sex. people just want to fuck, spank, be tied up, and escape the problems of the “real world”. 

But has anyone stopped to think that if you’re a white man who calls me a n***** without my explicit permission then you’re bringing as aspect of the “real world” into our dynamic? the same real world you so eagerly seek to avoid? the same real world i might be seeking to avoid?

No? didn’t think about it. that’s the kool aid of white supremacy for you. 

I have deep opinions about race play, hijab play, or anything that seeks to turn oppressed and marginalized people into a sex object or fetish within the context of a white supremacist society. 

you could easily say that my opinions are largely informed by my lack of experience in the scene.

you could also say it makes me physically ill to see my identity as a muslim woman, for example, turned into a sexual kink by some of the vilest islamophobes and anti-arab racists on the block. the same people who would stop and frisk me on a NYC street, lock me up in guantanomo, or drone/bomb Muslim countries in the name of keeping America “safe from terrorism”. 

I will never outright shit on your sunshine if you happen to be into race play or hijab play.  

I will say that in order for us to be friends (never playmates), to talk, to occupy the same space together, you need to understand the rules of liking problematic things. 

That means, if you so happen to find yourself as one of those people who likes something that might err on the side of “politically incorrect” (i hate that term but roll with me), understand 

• nobody is telling you not to like it
• but don’t spend inordinate amounts of time justifying to people who suffer from the oppression or marginalization you seek to replicate why its okay for you to like problematic things and why they shouldn’t care that you do
• please do not default to the one person in an oppressed group who is like “oh man its totally okay if you scat and step all over my identity”. they don’t speak for all of us, their opinions don’t represent the overwhelming whole. and if you’re going to like something problematic at least G-up and admit not everyone from that oppressed group is going to see eye to eye with you let alone keep you in close company. 
• you also should spend some time (hell a lot of time) thinking about how you potentially replicate that shit in real life. 
• don’t even put out a hand looking for “ally cookies” or “ally” buttons of honor without my consent and me being able to see that you are in a constant process of learning and unlearning, decolonization, anti-racism, and anti-oppression. your hand will get smacked down with a vengence, and not in a good way either. 

What I’m saying is totally not new here at all. Its been said many times before, long before me, and hopefully people will keep saying it. 

But for my own sanity and for my ability to continue building relationships with people I need to say it.

I understand there are plenty of people in the BDSM scene who just want to play with no consequences. 

I understand they are not all strictly white people (which makes me even sadder at times, to be honest)

I understand BDSM culture, like normative culture, relies on people from marginalized or oppressed identities liking problematic kinks in order to keep perpetuating problematic behavior and avoid being actively called out on its shit, let alone making changes and reforms (because metaphors and reoccurances of the “one then” all rule are a powerful thing)

I can’t change those people. In a lot of ways I have no fundamental desire to go around changing peoples minds. I do social justice related things in the rest of my life, and like many people in BDSM I come to the scene to relax and bang some things out (all the puns intended. all the puns) 

But I will say if you want play with me, then you better learn how to come correct

And not just in the vein of addressing me by the right titles or with the right sweet sounding “language” of domme/sub communication and respect. 

i was talking to someone about my senior thesis novel a couple of days ago. they asked me whether i would publish it and i said “probably not any time soon” which is my way of saying “probably never”. 

its not that i don’t think it would be any good or wouldn’t sell

its because i write to create the worlds i want to see. worlds where people of color have more depth and flexibility and struggles than are oftentimes allowed to flourish in a predominately white publishing market. i write to relax, to have something creative to work on. to remove myself from the tensions of doing social justice or theology related stufff

and honesty, my worst fear is doing a reading or reading fan mail where someone essentially asks me “why didn’t you write about white people?”

i have no energy for that. at least not right now. 

what white people don’t understand is that authors of color have worked too hard to get their writing even noticed in a market where every tom, dick and harry submits their manuscript. and many stephanie myers, nicolas sparks, and e.l james get published above those with true talent and have spent years mastering and perfecting their craft.

and to face that kind of question is fundamentally a career ender.

answer truthfully, discuss and get a white person to critically understand how its not the responsibility of POC authors to write exclusively about white people. talk about the inherent white supremacy in white folks assuming every book has to be about them. especially when white authors are not obligated in the same way to include people of color in their stories in order to find a viable market. 

and you may potentially loose everything you’ve worked hard for. because there are too many white people who read books and have narry an actively anti-racist bone in their body, let alone the desire to cultivate some. they’ll call you a reverse racist. which is damaging because not only is the publishing industry predominately white but they are your largest market as well. and when word spreads that the reason why you, author of color, didn’t focus your book on white people is “because you hate white people”, your book sales will plummet, publishers will be hesitant to pick you up in the future. 

endgame

that’s a lot of work down the drain only for the possibility of being able to survive the ethnostress of being a rising author. 

i don’t want writing to be ruined for me just yet 

its the outlet that keeps me going and allows me into the land of day dreams and make believe

i’m not going to sit on my creations and wait for our generations to grow and to change and to one day overturn the white supremacist power structure 

i’m going to hope people of color utilize this existing capitalist system in order to put their purchasing power back into the self actualization of our dreams. 

and wait for the black version of randomhouse or harper collins to pop up

because many of us dream of that kind of status and settle for self published e-books or publications with miserably small companies with not nearly enough power to sustain the full time writer of color. 

in my wildest dreams i want mainstream royalties, circulation, and book tours. i just don’t want the problems of being a person who believes in my right to tell the stories of queer black women exclusively and not the over told stories of white people. 

Hi there
I’m a senior at Hampshire, i have a love/hate relationship with Hampshire, as a lot of us do.
I love the community of friends I have found and created here
I love working on behalf of students of color via the cultural center and other avenues, even if that gets to be grating at times
I love the academic freedom I have, especially given that the Jewish studies department here is soo small- so being able to take off campus classes and connect with five college faculty has been great

Honestly, my biggest complaint is how in the grand scheme of a ‘social justice oriented school’ anti racism is treated like a game of parcheesi in the sense that you win, you loose, but at the end of the day it’s no big deal if white students are racist cause its college/a game right?

I hate how white students pretty much beg ‘to be educated on how to be actively anti-racist’ and think its the job of students of color to drop everything and teach them. People fail to realize that we are students as well, and we came to be educated same as white students and not to be perpetual educators. For a school that has really strong ethnic studies departments dominated by white students, there’s no reason why white students should be asking PoC to educate them at all.

Basically, being at Hampshire has been an emotional rollercoaster. It gave me the environment to thrive and become successful, to be a notable Jewish Studies scholar. It just came with a severe amount of ethnostress in the process.
I will say, after spending a lot of time amongst the five colleges, being at Hampshire has made me feel blessed that I go to a place where my circle of friends and other circles are working to dismantle systemic and internalized racism, as opposed to some people I’ve met in the five colleges who are a little too step and fetch it for my tastes. Sweet people, but it makes me vomit to watch folks kiss white supremacy’s ass cause they are more concerned with sparing white people’s feelings when it comes to hard hitting conversations about race. Granted, there are people like that here, but its not a pervasive part of the PoC culture at Hampshire like it is at other schools.

I hope I answered your question. I’m not trying to scare you, but I also don’t get my kicks from sugar coating the Hampshire experience either.

i’m not here to convince white people that i am worthy of their humanity, if and when they feel like validating mine

which means i will over-react, i will be over-sensitive, i will take things too seriously 

as i damn well please

all as it relates to my humanity as a person of colour 

validated by me and only me

i am not here to convince “conscious” black men of my humanity or equality, as it suits them to include me in their delusions lacking grandeur 

cause a new world order based in anti-black women’s misogyny is just that….a delusion 

i am not here to convince white queers why racially homogeneous LGBT spaces and places are far from “hate free zones” for the likes of my queer black ass

i am not the pictorial definition of “intersectionality”

my life was a crossroads of many things long before the tortoise of queer theory struggled to catch up to this hare 

by the way you’re still running

i am not here to convince non-black Muslims of my worth in the global ummah 

why my darker skin in a hijab is just as valuable as somebody who is the “fairest” of them all

why the historical legacy of blackamerican Muslim contributions follows me with every step i take 

and even if you forget i will remember, bring it up

and if ya don’t know, look it up- now you know!

i am not here to convince white feminists why they have been surfing on waves only amongst themselves

or why you can’t have the word womanist, you can’t have audre lorde, you can’t have our movers and shakers while continually denying our humanity and contributions

not now, not ever

i am not here to convince mainstream party line toting vegans that my plates are continually unlearning, learning, and decolonializing  

and we will never eat together, let alone swap cumin, unless yours is too

i am not here to convince people of what they already decided they don’t want to here

i navigate this stream cause i’ve been writing since i was 3 years old 

and words are the power in me that voice or performance is for others 

they will continue to empower me

with every post

every physical line written

or mentally plotted

and if you learn something

go ahead and werrkk baby

but this is my space

and to follow me

means you are down with the get down

i mean, honestly

who writes a post basically saying “but wont we think of the white vegans feelings” when we levy critiques of veganism as a mainstream movement?

who links to a post pushing for THE ENTIRE CONTINENT OF AFRICA to become vegan as a means of “saving the environment/animal/oh wait there are people there too”? 

because mainstream veganism totally doesn’t already hold the perception that indigenous cooking/food cultures of global POCs are “backwards” and “barbaric”, and its the job of the locally grown organic fair trade whole foods/co-op shoppers to “bring those people into the 21st century and fundamentally the light”

like did i miss the audition call for the shuck and jive tap dancing fest?

maybe there is an epic hole in my soul

and i just can’t feel the breeze blowing through it anymore

but i just don’t give a fuck about white vegan fee fees when being called out on their shit

their sensibilities, ideas, “innovations”

their concern for porky the pig or bugs bunny sitting in corporate capitalist captivity 

or their Christian-missionary style captain save a ho/brown person/poor person/disabled person/fat person existence 

i just want a brown veganism movement that understands what it really means to create OPTIONS and CHOICES where there was previously little to none

and respect that creating OPTIONS and CHOICES doesn’t automatically mean we have to or are going to make the same ones in order to change our royally fucked up food system 

TW: anti-LGBT bigotry 

Issa Rae basically uses homophobia and transphobia in her show Awkward Black Girl as punch lines

in the first season the T-word was used as an insult levied at one of the characters

also in Jay’s awkward raps she uses the phrase “no lesbo”

the crunk feminist collective {which has QTPOC} and many other individual QTPOCs called her out on her use of transphobic slurs and the phrase “no lesbo”

and her response was basically “y’all are being too sensitive, its just a show, comedy is comedy, get over it cause i’m not really sorry and i’m not going to change things”

and a whole lot of people covered her ass and defended her “creative license” to use the T-word and “no lesbo”

brooklyn boihood included, most notably in my mind

which allowed her to get away with it again at the beginning of season 2 

when she comes into work wearing white jay’s clothes, there is magically some masculine of center identified woman working there, and she assumes J is queer in conversation and she’s like “naww lez-bitch i aint bout that life” or something including the phrase lez-bitch

and every time QTPOC have brought it up, particularly black queers and trans folk, we’ve basically been told “ya win some, ya loose some/get over it/its just a show/its not a big deal”

here’s my personal take on it: if straight people, straight black people in particular, want to watch Awkward Black Girl, then go right on ahead. Yet don’t try to convince me, a queer person of colour, why i’m overreacting to her use of homophobic and transphobic slurs and why  i should just “enjoy the show/get over it/stop complaining about nothing” and yadi yadi yada. 

so yeah……Issa Rae, not the independent TV wonder child folks make her out to be

if all those straight POCs {and select tragic queers} who rushed to defend her knew their black television show history, they’d know her use of homophobic punch lines is not original in the slightest. a lot of 80s, 90s, and even 00s television shows had and still use them to this day. and its actually mad insulting to the premise of indie tv to basically play off that history in an attempt to be original and cater to an audience mainstream black tv theoretically hasn’t before. but by using homophobic punch lines you’re essentially catering to the same audience shows like single ladies caters to. 

i appreciate melissa harris perry using her platform on national television to talk about issues related to the LGBT community 

but when we start priviliging her opinion as a straight woman over our queer brethren who have fundamentally said the same thing since stonewall and will continue to say it 

not only have we chosen,and done so far from wisely, who we would prefer to listen to and what that presentation should look like

but we play a role in the white supremacy that the mainstream LG movement operates on, that seeks to erase those within the community who don’t agree or paint them as being “anti-marriage”/anti progress/anti-gay or a self loathing gay

that seeks poster children to counter act the radicalism that’s calling them our on their shit 

that seeks to predicate queer survival on the ability to acquire upper middle class white gayness

and not those who are waiting on prison abolition, comprehensive affordable health care for trans and non-binary people that isn’t a trickle down after effect from the cis-centered health care system, a higher standard of living than the streets many homeless queer youth live on or have lived on, and the abolishment of the military industrial complex to survive

that seeks to erase our radical ancestors, bring them out only when its convenient and subsequently whitewash them {killing them softly all over again}

and that seeks to paint straight allyship as one predicated on basic bitch actions/words which really fall under the category of human decency at its bare minimum and fundamentally doesn’t make you any better of a straight ally

sorry, but i just can’t 

i wont play a party to it