colored queer waters

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a rant: i’m a womanist buddy, don’t get it twisted

15

for the past two days, I’ve been spending a lot of time on the south side of Chicago. I’ve been going to a couple of pan-african stores, and spending time trying to get to know the people who run them.

despite my mother’s deep fears about being on the south side, i actually feel moderately comfortable over there. i don’t get cat called HALF as much as i do in the suburbs, which i find deeply ironic on some level. i can buy black beauty products i would usually have to order offline, and i get to experience a black community that is actually about some shit, unlike the people in evanston.

Yet if there is one thing that’s been bothering me these past couple of days, its how Brother Yoel can’t seem to understand that me and him will never be more than friends.

I don’t’ mean to sound like an ageist asshole, but I’m not attracted to cis men enough to date ones 20+ years older than me. I don’t want to date somebody old enough to be my father, or my grandfather. Beyond the aestetics of such relationships, from which i generally don’t find attractive, i dont appreciate how older folk think they can boss you around just because you’re younger. Telling you what to think and how to act as if you don’t have a fucking brain of your own.

I’ve been there before, and i’d rather die alone than go there again.

i enjoy spending time around him because he’s an interesting person who sells books on black revolutionary thought that i otherwise couldn’t easily find. Granted, i don’t care to hear all of his conspiracy theories about Jews versus the black Hebrews everytime we talk about what i’m doing in school, but i just shrug it off and let him have his moment in the spotlight.

If there is one thing that deeply irked my soul, it was yesterday. i went with him to run an errand before dropping me off at the train station. we went to kinkos and ran into one his friends who belongs to the nation of islam. He said the typical islamic greeting, which i didn’t hear because the fool fucking stumbles upon his words and his intotation in sound waxes and wanes. So i stare blankly at him and his response to Brother Yoel is “what are you teaching her?”

And I’m looking at this bumbling fool like “excuse me? what is HE teaching me? I’m perfectly capable of reading and educating my damn self! i don’t need anybody to teach me jack shit, you sexist Nation son of a bitch!” but of course, i say nothing and shoot him this terse look.

this is something i can’t stand, the still prevalent notion that somehow men are doing all of the grunt work for the revolution and the women are steady in the kitchen,picking our fros and ironing the black regalia for our men folk. that we are silent unless spoken to, and we aren’t autonomous human beings on any level. that we can’t contribute anything more than domesticity and sexual gratification.

its like FUCK YOUR SEXIST BULLSHT.

and while i’m yelling at the top of my lungs over here

FUCK THE HOMOPHOBIA OF THE NATION OF ISLAM

FUCK ANY BLACK REVOLUTIONARY WHO THINKS THAT GAY PEOPLE ARE A THREAT TO ISLAM OR TO THE MOVEMENT IN GENERAL. HONESTLY, GAYS ARE A THREAT TO ISLAM? I GUESS THOSE WHO COMMIT ISLAMOPHOBIC ACTS ARE JUST FLIES ON THE WALL IN COMPARISON. {deep eye roll}

FUCK YOUR “TEACHING WOMEN” BULLSHIT.

anybody who honestly thinks that is what progress looks like can sit on it and twirl, after kissing my womanist ass.

Suffice to say, me and Yoel have a lot to talk about. because while i enjoy his friendship, i refuse to be treated like that young arm candy for the aging revolutionary.


  1. fivelettered said: Tell me what shops you visit! I usually feel quite tense in Hyde Park because I feel people probably think I’m a UofC student. :\ Sorry about the bullshit you’re facing with that guy. Definitely talk to him because I would have raged right there.
  2. retromodernelle said: At work (LGBT nonprofit) I recently took a call from a man who had been kicked out of the Nation of Islam because they found out he was gay. I referred him to some LGBT Muslim people/organizations, but I felt so bad I couldn’t do more.
  3. navigatethestream posted this
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