I was talking to my boo about how life was for me in Arkansas in the gay community. I won’t even call it a queer community because most of the people I associated with would look at me weird if I called myself queer.
It seemed like being book smart was a handicap in the dating world. When I would…
honestly, after coming out and eventually leaving the chicago scene, i don’t miss it at all. like i dread going back there.
i dread the queer women of colour meetups that are supposed to be radical in the sense that they are separate from white queer spaces and inclusive but in all actually are really cisgendered as fuck, alienating to people who don’t want to socialize in the bar scene or the night life scene, their spirituality events are oriented solely around striations of Christianity, and classicist for those who have no money and don’t feel like putting on airs {i.e white parties/events or yacht parties or downtown chicago club/bar parties}.
i dread the radical queer brown scene in a strange way, because i have no desire to model my radical principles off that of white anarchists or leftists, i.e those who are not concerned with the safety and vitality of POCs at all let alone queer people of colour. so to meet those queer brown people who are trying so desperately to fit into that niche and “prove themselves” makes me want to vomit profusely.
and honestly the problems i see in the queer brown communities of Chicago are reminiscent of what goes down in a lot of places, the two extremes of partying and “intellectual spaces”.
except the partying is ruled by extremely conventional eurocentric standards of beauty, masculinity and femininity applied to queer brown bodies
and the intellectual spaces are pseudo in a lot of ways because the conversations are more about putting on airs as opposed to talking about anything real. as if there aren’t enough places to wax philosophical with a heaping side of bullshit in daily life.
i threw my hands up when i signed the paper saying i was going to Hampshire and when i graduate from Hampshire i have ZERO intentions of ever returning to chicago.
