what happens {or better yet what should happen}:
- you apologize for being offensive
what happens going forward:
- you learn how to be a better anti-oppression ally on your own
- you learn to actively listen to POCs
- you learn the ways in which you can “interrupt racism” (i guess is the catchy way of saying it nowaways) without talking over people of color
- you learn not to ask POCs for cookie for doing a good deed. want a cookie? wait until the girl scouts come knocking at your door
DONT:
- offer an explanation as to why you were offensive
- trot out the “oppression is oppression is oppression regardless of who is doing it” card
- trot out dictionary definitions of words like racism and homophobia because you fail to realize definitions of oppression terminology was generally coined by folks who want to maintain power structures that benefit them. and most importantly, no.1.curr
- trot out the instance where a marginalized person was mean to you and therefore that somehow justifies what you just did {case in point, i love how white people who are called out on racism have all been bullied by these magical black people who are never given more details than just “the black people who bullied me throughout life”}
- dismiss the validity of white supremacy or white privilege
- trot out the token friend who validates all of your fucked up behaviours and would probably throw anybody with any sort of anti-oppression consciousness under the bus in heartbeat just to get next to you
- trot out “we’re all human beings, doesn’t matter whether we are black or blue. sorry, the only blue people are in Avatar and i’m willing to bet if you offended them badly enough you would get got by them too
- trot out quotes by POC social justice leaders as if to post-racialize them and subsequently make an excuse for your bad behaviour. case in point: MLK or Audre Lorde. our leaders didn’t exist for you to use their words against us to be a racist asshole.
- ask the offended person “can you please be my personal tutor in this specific anti-oppression praxis?”
- and with that, don’t use that person as the “hey i did this thing and i’m not sure whether it was offensive so please help?” buffer. you gotta learn how to G up and work your way through situations on your own
notice how the do list is longer then the donts
that’s because even in a white supremacist society, its really not that hard to hold yourself accountable if and when you fuck up
